How to stop being defensive when you receive difficult feedback at work
In short: Leadership expert Chris Wheatley shares a personal experience of receiving hard truth from a colleague. He outlines a four-step framework designed to help you process critical feedback with grace, breaking the cycle of defensiveness that often prevents us from seeing our own blind spots.
Most of us possess a 'thing'—a specific behavioral pattern we exhibit when we are not at our best—that remains invisible to ourselves. Wheatley discovered his own pattern after a close work friend confronted him directly about his actions.
This realization shattered his long-standing habit of reacting defensively. By applying his four-step method, individuals can learn to listen to uncomfortable truths without immediately retreating into self-protection, ultimately fostering better professional growth and self-awareness. The talk was recorded at TEDxSpokane on January 31, 2026.
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Sources
- Summary by Intellect · source: The Four Steps to Hearing Hard Feedback Gracefully | Chris Wheatley | TED
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