Why studying the end of a marriage can help you sustain it
In short: To understand what makes a marriage work, we must examine why they fail. Family law professor Jeannie Suk Gersen suggests that viewing marital decisions through the lens of divorce provides a vital perspective for navigating togetherness from the very beginning.
For much of history, marriage was primarily an economic and social arrangement. However, during the Victorian era, the concept shifted toward a bond centered on intimacy, emotional sustenance, and love. As marriage became tied to the expectation of personal fulfillment, the importance of divorce grew alongside it. Historically, spouses seeking separation could obtain financial support, yet they were forbidden from remarrying. This changed as social norms evolved. In the late eighteenth century, American states began passing legislation to legalise divorce. This shift marked a significant departure from previous legal frameworks.
Harvard Law professor Jeannie Suk Gersen argues that contemplating the legal realities of divorce—such as asset division, financial support, and child custody—can actually strengthen a partnership. By considering these consequential decisions and potential sacrifices regarding money, work, and children, partners can better prepare for the reality of their shared life. Gersen, a former clerk to Associate Justice David Souter, teaches these legal complexities to students. This training prepares them for life's major milestones.
This perspective goes beyond simply drafting a prenuptial agreement. It involves a fundamental reflection on how a series of choices made during the marriage will shape the lives of the spouses and their children if the union eventually ends. By understanding the mechanisms of exit, couples may gain a clearer view of the commitment required to stay. Ultimately, this foresight assists in managing the long-term impact of various life decisions. It ensures that couples are fully aware of their future obligations.
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Sources
- Summary by Intellect · source: How understanding divorce can help your marriage | Jeannie Suk Gersen
- Also: What “Divorce” Understands About Marriage
- Also: How can understanding divorce help a marriage?
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